


Take My Heart When You Go

by ArwenLalaith



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Mild Sexual Content, Post-Episode: s08e01 The Silencer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:49:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29521125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArwenLalaith/pseuds/ArwenLalaith
Summary: Alex arrives home from the Silencer case and she’s struggling with all the emotions being back at the BAU brings up...  You comfort her the best way you know how.
Relationships: Alex Blake (Criminal Minds)/Reader
Kudos: 15





	Take My Heart When You Go

When Alex had told you that she was going to return to the BAU, you’d had mixed feelings about it. Ultimately, you wanted her to be happy – and she seemed to be – but you also knew how much damage the Bureau had caused following the Amerithrax case. You didn’t want to see her get hurt again.

You didn’t get the chance to see her following her first case back, as the team had to turn around and leave again, but she assured you via text that she loved you and missed you and that she was _fine_. You had to trust that she meant it.

* * *

When Alex returned to the apartment after the second case, it was past the time you usually would have been asleep, but you’d wanted to say awake to greet her. Afterall, you rarely went so long without seeing each other.

(You’d also decided that, in honour of her triumphant return to the Bureau, you would do something to celebrate...namely, wearing the sluttiest lingerie you had in your wardrobe. Alex was good with words, but she couldn’t resist a good visual either...)

But as soon as she walked into the apartment, you could tell that something had upset her.

“Alex, what’s wrong?” you asked gently. “What happened?”

She shook her head, just wrapped you in a tight embrace and held you like her life depended on it. “Y/N...” she breathed, nuzzling into your neck, murmuring against your skin.

You gently squeezed you arms around her, then eased back to look in her eyes, seeing the sheen of withheld tears there. “Alex,” you urged gently, “What happened?” You tugged her to sit on the couch next to you.

With a weary sigh, she leaned down to rest her head on your lap and you proceeded to stroke her hair with tenderness.

“Was it a bad case?” you asked.

She shrugged. “No...not especially,” she said.

“Then what?” you gently prompted.

Tongue flicking out over her bottom lip, she was silent for a moment before saying, “I just... I didn’t realize how difficult it would be to come back.”

You hummed a sympathetic note, carefully winding strands of her hair around your fingers.

After a moment of silence, she continued, “They don’t trust me. They don’t like me. I don’t even think they want me in the Unit...because no matter how hard I try, I’ll never be Emily.”

“Oh, Alex...” you whispered, soft and sympathetic. You wished you had something more to offer than your sympathy.

With a shaky breath, she said, “I thought I’d return and everything would be like it used to. That _I’d_ be like I used to. But it’s not. _I’m_ not. All I could think about as I stood in the bullpen was how it felt like I was trying to fit into a space I wasn’t made for, a role I’d outgrown. I’ve changed so much and the world around me is the same – people are still killing each other and no matter how long I do this job, people will _always_ be killing each other. I feel like I don’t matter.”

“You matter, Alex,” you insisted firmly. “You matter to _me_.”

She turned her head the slightest bit so she could smile up at you, but it was a sad smile. “I know,” she insisted.

“But?” you prompted, hearing the dangling participle.

Another sigh. “But...I’m just not sure who I am anymore.”

“I’ll tell you who you are,” you murmured, gently easing her to sit up. Once she had, you moved to straddle her lap. Cupping her cheeks, you tilted her head up until you could look in her eyes, then leaned in to kiss her. “You are breathtaking,” you murmured against her lips. “So incredibly breathtaking.”

“But...” she started to protest.

You clicked your tongue scoldingly. “Not finished yet.” You moved your lips along her jaw, up to her ear where you whispered, “You are _so_ beautiful. A _goddess_.” You kissed down her neck, working at the buttons of her blouse as you went. “You’re incredibly brilliant – one of the smartest people I have ever or will ever know,” you spoke against the skin of her throat.

Her breathing was getting faster as your lips travelled lower. “Y/N,” she breathed. Her hands travelled up your thighs to rest on your hips, fists bunching in the fabric of the robe you wore over the lingerie.

“You’re always making me laugh,” you murmured, lips brushing her clavicle. “And you always _always_ make me smile. No matter what.” Then, you moved down to her breast, lips capturing her nipple through the lace of her bra. “You’re so fucking sexy,” you husked. “You’re amazing in bed and you never fail to make me cum...” You glanced up at her through your lashes as you laved your tongue over her nipple.

Her eyes fell shut at the image of your mouth working her breast. She let out a little whimper, the sound travelling straight to your cunt.

“You’re absolutely perfect as you are,” you insisted, pulling back to meet her gaze properly. You kissed her tenderly. “And I love you for who you are. Agent or not, you are valuable and needed and perfect and _loved_.”

You could see that you had gotten through to her because of the soft watery smile that crossed her lips. “Y/N...you are...” She shook her head, unable to quite form the words. She sniffled softly, touched by the depths of your affections. “I love you. _So_ much.”

“I know,” you confirmed. “But I’m not finished _loving_ you...”

She laughed softly. “You really don’t have to...”

You cut her off with nothing more than a playful smirk. Then, you moved to kneel before her, reaching up to drag her panties down her legs, bunching her skirt up around her hips. Trailing kisses and soft bites up her thighs, you made your way to her centre.

She let out a soft moan as your tongue hit her clit, her fingers tangling in your hair.

You easily worked her towards her climax, loving the way you coaxed the most delicious sounds from her lips. When she came, it was with a cry muffled by her hand over her mouth, her nails scraping along your scalp, sending shivers down your spine.

When you moved back up to meet her lips with yours, she was smiling. “Are you going to book-end every case like that?” she asked teasingly.

You giggled softly. “If it makes you smile like that, absolutely.”


End file.
